The Editorial LiveJournalists weighed in today with an editorial celebrating Mayor White’s wifi bubbles (with an odd digression on “technology overload”).
Ah, okay. Thanks for explaining that. And thank you, Houston, for finally acknowledging the truth about poverty. It isn’t caused by a lack of education, or affordable healthcare. It isn’t about opportunity or saying no to drugs. It isn’t about indiscriminate breeding and generations on welfare. It’s about the wireless Internet gap, or “wig” as it’s known on the streets.
I recall being a young country mouse, moving to Houston with my city mouse cousin and marveling at all the technology. In my home our computers were all connected by clumsy wires. I remember thinking “if only I had wireless Internet access, all of my problems would be solved!” Alas, the road to hell is paved with CAT5 cable. It was a daily struggle for we poor folk. We knew wiggy was holding us down. We had to ask ourselves “do I need a DHCP server or do we go static? Can I trust the rich man’s switch to properly route packets?” My server was my castle, but I never felt safe. I couldn’t trust the SpyCops, so I installed metal bars over each open port. Sometimes I got so angry I wanted to shout “GD America!” Of course I did not. My web cam was on and I was the spiritual advisor to all my cats. I was afraid I might damage their political careers.
I watched my children go to school with their cell phones and mp3 players, faces burning with shame that they needed two different devices. I watched the news on my big screen TV while yearning for a plasma set.
I was a proud mouse, though, and I never took charity. Not even from the many wealthy Nigerians who were begging to share their country’s apparently infinite riches with me. When I became frustrated, I recalled the words of the blessed Dr. King when he said “I have a dream that one day BRI traffic and WEP traffic can come together on the same subnet without conflict.” I remembered Gandhi bravely refusing to check his email. I was inspired.
And now my patience has paid off. As God is my witness I will never go coax again!