We try to keep an eye on transit issues, so I found yesterday’s MeMo very amusing:
1. The following is not quite true. OK, I completely made it up.
(AP) Artists Christo and Jeanne Claude, fresh from the artistic and logistical triumph of their saffron-hued “Gates” installation in New York City’s Central Park, have announced that their next large-scale project will be (drumroll) in Houston.
Called “The Road to Now Here”, the installation, scheduled for Spring 2006, will consist of a total of 5.9 miles of gray and white silk streaming from southbound Texas 249 to the westbound Beltway 8.
“Our goal eece to create the artistic illusion of a — how you call it? — a ramp from zee 249 to zee 8,” Christo said at a press conference at Cafe Complique in downtown Houston. The artistic installation will be funded privately, a spokesman for TxDOT said, but will be part of the massive interchange project, which does not include a ramp along that heavily traveled portion of the route.
Jeanne Claude, despite her narrow frame, tossed back gobs of chicken shwarma as she discussed the controversial artistic venture. “Eet ees to be the essence of the experience of Houston,” she said, her burgundy mane tossing. “What ees more Houston than the creation of a highway that ees not to exist?”
The artists estimated the cost of the thousands of yards of silk fabric, similar to parachute fabric, which would remain in place until air and rain conditions caused it to rot (an estimated lifespan of 12 days) at $5.8 million, with the remainder of the $5.9 million — some $100,000 — to go to hiring 1,000 laborers of uncertain immigration status to complete the potentially dangerous laying of the fabric across thin air.
Local traffic officials expressed some concern, given the experience with light rail crashes in downtown, that motorists might try to drive across the silk fabric to get from 249 to 8. “Signage will be crucial,” an unnamed offical said. “These crazy people would drive across their own dear mommas at rush hour.”
In a statement, Mayor Bill White expressed support for transportation and for the arts.
It’s perfect, right down to Mayor White’s statement.
